Healing Hearts: Choosing Life

 

Last week, I wrote about being on the road with grief. It’s a journey that looks different for everyone. We all experience loss—sometimes it’s a quiet ache, and other times it’s a tidal wave that knocks us off our feet. No matter the form, grief can stir deep sadness and longing.

This week, I revisited a book I first read in 2009, when I attended a grief counseling program in Neosho. It was offered by a local church and funeral home. The book, The Grief Recovery Handbook by Russell Friedman and John W. James, is short, 192 pages, but is filled with helpful, practical steps for healing.

The revised edition has a 4.1-star rating on Goodreads and thousands of positive reviews on Amazon; it’s clear that this book has helped many others as well. 

The method the authors share is tried and tested. Of course, no book can guarantee healing, but it offers a path forward. Readers must be honest with themselves, follow the steps sincerely, and be willing to do the work to recover—not just cope—with grief. Sometimes there may be issues that need resolving, especially with the loss of a loved one, and the authors advise how to overcome the problem. It works!

After losing my precious daughter Stephanie on February 2, I found myself deep in sorrow, tormented by what I now recognize as the Spirit of Grief. That darkness wrapped itself around me and nearly convinced me that I couldn't go on. I didn’t want to face a future without her. My heart hurt so deeply, I couldn’t think beyond my own pain. I wanted to die.

But God, in His mercy, did not leave me there.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, I began to see that I needed to do something. My family still needs me. And I can still live, even with this heartache. Step by step, day by day, I am learning to lean on God and walk through this valley with His strength.

“I have set before you life and death... now choose life.” — Deuteronomy 30:19. That is God's command.

That verse has anchored my heart. I choose life.

I’m beginning to recover from the Spirit of Grief—but it's a daily choice. Every day, I must choose to walk with Jesus, to guard my heart from the enemy’s lies, and to fill my ears and mind with His truth and hope.

Another verse that strengthens me is:

Zechariah 9:9 (NKJV):
“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey...”

Even in sorrow, I’m reminded that my King comes with salvation, comfort, and peace.

I'm grateful that I chose to reread The Grief Recovery Handbook. It helped me identify the lies I was believing and pointed me toward the healing that only God can complete. I highly recommend it for anyone navigating grief. And there are many other books out there about grief, which I've read several, so read the reviews, find help, and pray - God will lead you! 

Grief may be part of our journey, but it does not get the final word. With God, there is still purpose, still hope, and yes—still joy ahead. My heart is healing, one day at a time. But it's a daily choice, a daily fight to win this grief war! 

If you’re struggling with grief, please know you’re not alone. There is help, there is healing, and there is hope. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted friend, a counselor, or most of all, to God. He sees you. He walks with you. And He will carry you through.

I'm healing my heart one day at a time...