The Hidden Cost of the Three C's: Controlling, Criticism, & Complaining

It was a typical Ozark summer evening with the air muggy and hot.

"I'm so mad because you hit a rock and it broke the bedroom window!" he grumbled, giving her a daggered look. His speech was littered with foul-mouthed words.

With a downturned mouth, she said nothing, pushing away the tears as the accusing words stabbed at her; those words sank into her and settled deep. Heaviness overcame her again and she felt the pull of sleepiness.  

The air in the stifling trailer was dry and stale from her husband's bickering. She made a mental note to later turn on the little box fan to help the air conditioning circulate the air better. 

"You know rocks fall out of those gravel flower beds, I can't help it if the mower flings them all over!" She finally pushed the defending words at him. 

"You just need to be more careful! It's funny because I can mow and never hit a rock! You know those rocks are there in the yard, don't run over them!" he yelled, his fists tight with rage, his cold eyes now ablaze. "Now I've got to fix the window!" Again a string of foul words followed his stomping down the hallway of the single-wide trailer, at the sound of the slamming door she was alone.

Closing her eyes she withdrew from the situation and snuggled into the fuzzy lap blanket as melancholy crawled over her. The weight of depression, humiliation, and disappointment squeezed her heart. She had to do better! Next time she mowed, she would keep an eye out and be sure and not hit any rocks. Maybe she should just stop mowing. When that thought struck her, she immediately retaliated with, No! I love mowing, it's a time of peace and tranquility and it brings me happiness. 

She had homework to do and an assignment was due on Sunday, but instead the fuzzy blanket drew her into the safe sleep she craved and she closed her brown eyes longing for the escape that a nap provided.

###

That story is true.

What struck me wasn't the broken window. Windows can be repaired. What troubled me was the damage

done to a human heart. The accusation was absurd. No one intentionally runs over rocks with a lawn mower to break a bedroom window. Yet the criticism landed exactly where criticism often lands—deep inside the spirit of the person hearing it.

Psalm 55:21 describes such words well: "His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords."

Words have power. They can encourage, heal, and build up. They can also wound, discourage, and tear down.

I remember what happened after hearing that conversation. Whenever I walked through the yard, I

found myself looking for stray rocks and tossing them back into the flower beds. I didn't want her

to accidentally hit one while mowing and have to endure another round of criticism. She loved mowing

my yard, I would try to help by making sure those stray rocks stayed out of the grass.

That's how much I wanted to protect her.

The longer I reflected on that moment, the more I realized that controlling, complaining, and critical

people often do more damage than they realize. A controlling person can drain the life from a relationship. Instead of creating an atmosphere of trust, they create an atmosphere of fear. Instead of offering grace, they demand perfection. Instead of building confidence, they slowly chip away at it.

The person on the receiving end begins to question everything:

• Was that my fault?

• Should I have done better?

• Maybe I shouldn't do it at all.

What begins as criticism can eventually become discouragement. What begins as complaining can become

contempt. What begins as control can become emotional bondage.

The Bible teaches a different way. In 2 Timothy 1:7 we read: "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-control."

Notice that Scripture calls us to control ourselves, not other people. Romans 14:10 also reminds us: "Why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt?"

God calls His children to speak with kindness, patience, humility, and grace. None of us are perfect

We all make mistakes. We all break a few "windows" along the way.

The question is not whether people will fail. The question is how we will respond when they do. Will we wound with our words, or will we extend grace? Will we criticize, complain, and control? Or will we love as Christ loves us?

The Golden Rule remains as true today as it was when Jesus spoke it: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

May we be known not for the Three C's—controlling, complaining, and critical—but for three better

qualities: compassion, encouragement, and Christlike love.

**This is just one incident that I witnessed between my daughter and her husband. I documented three

years worth of narcissistic behavior that I plan to write about just in case someone else is living with

abuse and maybe it will help them. My daughter is dead now. If you live with someone that abuses you

verbally, physically, mentally, or whatever way, please get out of the situation! God wants you to be

happy and not put up with other people hurting you. This I pray....

BOOK REVIEW: The Sheriff's Secret Past by Tina Radcliffe

If you like small town contemporary romance with a unique cast of characters with their own style of kookiness, a touch of mystery, a sweet little girl, and an adorable dog named Bryon (Lord Byron), then you'll love Tina Radcliffe's first book in the Aspen Creek, Colorado series.

The Sheriff's Secret Past is sprinkled with lots of humor and highlighted by a sweet little girl and a precious pup named Bryon who comes into the heroine's life at the perfect moment.

Emily Taylor returns to Aspen Creek, Colorado; she is the "Spunky Kid" archetype heroine who is determined to bring back to life her newly bought newspaper business. Chase Taylor, the Aspen Creek sheriff is surprised to see Emily and he's immediately wary of her "nose for news" because he is harboring a secret - one that can make or break his career.

The characters who populate Aspen Creek are very unique and kooky, who will steal you heart and make you turn the pages of the story. You'll laugh at the Soul Sisters group of ladies and they will definitely warm your heart! At the end I didn't want to say goodbye and close the book.

I do hope Tina Radcliffe has in mind to write some of the other characters' stories, such as Harley's, Moss', and Hope's. On page 127 in the paperback book the conversation between Chase and Murphy will have you rolling with laughter.

This is an adorable romantic story and I want to read more stories from Aspen Creek! Check out Tina Radcliffe's website for Vintage recipes from the Soul Sisters and lots of news about the next books coming out in the Aspen Creek series......

I was gifted a print copy from Ms. Radcliffe and this review is my own thoughts. I highly recommend this story...Emily and Chase, the heroine and hero, are meant to be together and their story, as well as the other cast of characters, will stay with you long after you close the book!

Thunderstorms vs Cobwebs: A True Story

Southwest Missouri is known for severe weather—tornadoes, hailstorms, and straight-line winds that can strike at almost any time of the year. This year has brought an abundance of storms rolling through our state, sweeping up from Oklahoma and Kansas before tracking eastward. 

After living in the country for more than forty years, I now find myself living in a small town. And when the storm sirens begin to blare and whine, I get a little jumpy. 

 Actually, I get a lot jumpy. 

 As the sirens wail, my nerves shift into high alert. I become a whirlwind of activity, gathering my two cats into their carriers, stuffing necessities into my storm bag, and keeping a close eye on the radar as the storms slowly crawl across the television screen. Those moments always remind me of summer thunderstorms when my brothers and I stayed with our great-grandmother, Ollie. 

Ollie wasn't afraid of storms, but she respected them. Whenever threatening weather approached, she kept the television on and listened carefully to the forecasts. We kids watched and learned from her as she kept flashlights, quilts, and matches ready in the bedroom so she could grab them quickly if it was time to head for the root cellar. 

 While Ollie stayed indoors keeping an eye on the weather, we were usually outside running through the yard. We laughed, screamed, and raced around as the wind whipped through our hair. There was something thrilling about trying to capture the storm's energy in our young bodies as we ran like wild animals in circles around the backyard. 

When Great-Grandma decided it was time to go to the cellar, she'd call for us, and we'd hurry to her side. Sometimes we made the trip in pouring rain. Being the oldest, I always led the way, followed by my brothers, with Ollie bringing up the rear to make sure we reached the cellar safely. It was my job to unlock the cellar door and go down first. 

That's when the trouble began. 

I would unlock the old wooden door and stare into enormous sticky cobwebs stretched across the entrance. The webs billowed in the breeze like silver curtains, blocking the stone steps that disappeared into the damp darkness below. In my imagination, monstrous spiders lurked within them, waiting to leap out and sink their poisonous fangs into us. To my young mind, it was terrifying. 

My brothers would jump up and down, shouting for me to hurry and go down the steps. Ollie stood behind us holding the flashlight and gently coaxing me to brush the webs aside so everyone could get to safety. I wasn't about to break through those orbs of doom. Minutes seemed to pass as rain pelted us, thunder rolled overhead, and lightning flashed much too close for comfort. Finally, with plenty of screaming and protesting, I would force myself through the cobwebs and down those cellar steps. 

Once safely inside the cool, damp cellar, Ollie would light the kerosene lamp with fresh matches while my brothers and I bounced on the ancient spring bed. The earthy smell of the cellar filled the air. Rows of Mason jars lined the shelves, packed with freshly canned fruits and vegetables from her garden. As we waited for the storm to pass, Ollie entertained us with stories and hand shadows dancing across the walls in the flickering glow of the kerosene lamp. Somehow, she always knew when the storm had finally moved on and it was safe for us to return to the house and the fresh air outside. 

As I recall all those trips to the old cellar, I often find myself wondering why I didn't simply unlock the door and let my brothers go down first. Or why didn't we grab a broom so we could knock those icky webs away?  I chuckle at the thought. 

 And then I wonder, if I were faced with the same choice today, would I brave the ominous thunderstorm and stay in the house—or would I head for the cellar and once again face those frightening cobwebs? 

Years later, I inherited that kerosene lamp. It is a Bartlett-Collins glass lamp dating from the late 1930s or early 1940s. The white lamp fount is decorated with fired-on blue swallows and rests on a striking red glass base. Some of these lamps featured blue Scottie dogs, sailing ships, or floral vines. And mine still has its original, fully functional burner. Over the years, I've used it many times whenever thunderstorms knocked out the electricity.

I hope you are staying safe where you live and the storms do not cause damage. 

Giant Dandelions Hiding Among the Weeds

 

Giant Dandelions Along the Roadside

Driving through my hometown the other day, it was a typical southwest Missouri warm and humid day. I noticed huge white puffballs growing among the weeds along the roadside. Curious, I pulled my car over and went to investigate. There, standing among the grasses and roadside weeds, were clusters of larger-than-normal dandelions!

Being naturally curious, I snapped a few photos of the surprisingly large seed heads. I was tempted to step through the weeds and pick one of the puffballs to bring home, but the thought of chiggers and ticks lurking in the grass changed my mind.

Later, I researched my discovery and learned that these fascinating plants are called Western Salsify (Tragopogon dubius), though many people simply refer to them as Giant Dandelions. They are actually wildflowers, although they lack the bright colors we typically associate with wildflowers such as red, purple, white. pink, or blue.

Western Salsify thrives in disturbed areas, including railroad crossings, roadside ditches, fields, and meadows. Its yellow flowers resemble common dandelions but can be three to five times larger. They can be the size of golf balls to softballs! One of the most interesting facts about this plant is that its flowers open and close with the sun before they go to seed. Even more surprising, the shoots, roots, leaves, and flowers are all edible.

Like many gardeners and homeowners, we often think of dandelions as weeds and a nuisance in our lawns and gardens. Yet there are also people who intentionally grow and harvest them because every part of the plant is edible and rich in vitamins A, C, and K.

If you'd like to try dandelions as part of your diet, the roots can be scrubbed, roasted, and used as a coffee substitute. I've heard about folks using all kinds of roots to make substitute coffee in long ago days. The leaves can be eaten raw in salads or cooked as greens. Flower buds may be sautéed in butter or olive oil with onions for a tasty side dish. And those bright yellow blossoms? Many people describe them as having a sweet, honey-like flavor that adds color and interest to an ordinary salad.

Of course, if you decide to forage for dandelions, be sure they have not been sprayed with pesticides or herbicides. As with any wild food, wash them thoroughly before eating to remove dirt and insects.

Who knew that those giant puffballs growing along a Missouri roadside could be both beautiful and useful? Sometimes the most interesting discoveries are waiting quietly beside the road or growing in unexpected places, reminding us that nature still has plenty of surprises left to share. 

And perhaps God tucked these giant wildflowers along the roadside to remind us that even the things we overlook can have unexpected value.

For more information and recipes, visit these helpful resources:

• Treehugger: "10 Ways to Eat Dandelions"
• FoodPrint: "How to Eat Dandelions"

VINTAGE BITES: Summertime Vintage Recipes for Your Parties & Picnics

 

The month of June starts the season of outdoor activities and what's more fun than having a backyard BBQ or picnic in the park? Here are a few interesting vintage recipes I want to share with you. Notice the splatters on the old recipe cards from the cooks using them on the countertop as they made their goodies.....The recipes were loved and used over and over. I hope you enjoy reading the old recipes and maybe trying many of them out! 

Oven BBQ Chicken

          Jewish Apple Cake                                Yummy Apple Crisp

An old-fashioned BBQ from days gone by....

                                                        BBQ Hot Dogs aka Frankfurters

Preparing for the grand 4th of July party

                                                          Carrot Cake, who doesn't like it?

Pineapple Sheet Cake, another favorite

                                                        Pepper Jelly is so good! 

Lazy Day Cobbler, yum! 

 

                                                   Cucumber relish for those hot dogs....

Coca-Cola Cake is awesome! 

Chicken Casseroles are always easy 

                               And for all of you who have zucchini in the garden! 

And last, here are a couple of vintage recipes from my Grandmother Delva Black's sister, Nora Black. 

 Nora's Drop Cookies; there is no oven temperature or baking time, I would guess bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. 

Again, I would bake this Chocolate Loaf Cake at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes. 

I love vintage recipe cards from long ago kitchens! Happy Summer eating! 

Retirement: Joy & Contentment

 

Celebrating God's Faithfulness

Today I am celebrating a special milestone. Five years ago, I retired from my preschool teaching position with the Head Start Program after twenty-four wonderful years. That job meant everything to me. As a little girl, I spent hours playing “school” with my chalkboard easel, a room full of baby dolls lined up as students, and stacks of Sunday School papers. Teaching wasn't just something I enjoyed—it was the dream of my heart. When people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer never changed: a teacher.

God eventually answered that childhood dream, though not according to my timetable. I was forty years old before I stepped into my first classroom as a teacher. Looking back, I can see that life unfolds according to God's perfect timing, not our own. He places us exactly where we need to be—for such a time as this.

As I reflect on these past five years of retirement, I am filled with gratitude. The slower pace of life, the absence of early alarm clocks, and the freedom to enjoy unhurried days have been unexpected blessings. More than anything, I am amazed by God's faithfulness throughout every season of my life. Lately, the Lord has been teaching me an important truth: He is the Creator of the universe, and He is fully capable of caring for His children. 

For many years, I worried about life's interruptions. Whenever a problem arose, my first instinct was to analyze it, fix it, and make sure it turned out the way I thought it should. Yet I have learned that it is often not the circumstances themselves that create anxiety—it is our thoughts about those circumstances. Our minds naturally try to take control. We want solutions. We want certainty. We want outcomes that match our plans. In our determination to make everything work out, we sometimes forget that God is already at work.

The Lord created each of us with purpose. He knows our gifts, our weaknesses, our struggles, and our future. Nothing catches Him by surprise. He controls the universe and everything in it. When fearful thoughts gain a foothold in our minds, anxiety, worry, and discouragement can quickly snowball. Before long, our peace disappears, and even our physical health can suffer. Often, when we feel empty, fearful, or lacking, it is because we have drifted away from the One who fills every need.

Thankfully, the remedy is simple.

When difficulties arise, turn your thoughts immediately toward Jesus. Remember that He is with you. He never abandons His children. His strength becomes our strength. His peace steadies our hearts. Whatever challenge stands before us, He provides exactly what we need for that moment and the next step ahead.

One of my favorite quotes says: "You worry too much for someone whom God has never failed." What a powerful reminder.

The prophet Micah declared: "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." (Micah 7:7)

As believers in Christ, we are deeply loved by God. When we repent of our sins and place our faith in Jesus, we become recipients of His grace, protection, guidance, and unfailing love.

When I look back over my life—not just these retirement years—I can see many challenges, disappointments, and difficult seasons and the deaths overwhelmed me. Yet God carried me through every one of them. Each trial taught me something valuable. Each hardship deepened my faith. Each victory revealed another glimpse of God's goodness.

Romans 8:31–32 reminds us: "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?"

That final promise is worth pondering. If God loved us enough to give His Son, surely we can trust Him with every detail of our lives. I am also learning that nothing happens by accident. What appears to be coincidence is often God's unseen hand at work. Our Heavenly Father watches over us day by day, guiding, protecting, and providing in ways we may not recognize until much later. Through the good and the bad. 

So today, as I quietly celebrate another year of retirement, I am praising God for every blessing He has allowed me to experience and every lesson He has taught me along the way.

Like the psalmist, I can say: "I will sing of the Lord's faithful love forever; with my mouth I will proclaim Your faithfulness to all generations." (Psalm 89:1)

Do you struggle with trying to control everything in your life? The next time a fearful or negative thought appears, pause and replace it with the thought of Jesus. Remember His promises. Recall His faithfulness. Trust His presence.

This habit takes time to develop, but the rewards are worth the effort. Little by little, worry gives way to peace. Anxiety yields to trust. Fear is replaced with gratitude and contentment. May these words linger in your heart and gently point you back to the One who restores, renews, and sustains us.

Blessings to you.

—Karen Jennings

BOOK REVIEW: Unpretentious Lady Jane by Lisa M. Prysock

I enjoy reading books set during the Gilded Age and Lisa Prysock’s latest story, published in February, 2026, is perfectly set during the Gilded Age in Newport during the summer of 1907. The story did not disappoint me. I give it 5 stars!

Lady Jane Armstrong has a habit of getting herself into shenanigans and havoc of which she embraces as her way of dealing with life. She’s not always sorry for her naughtiness. Jane is engaged to Viscount Charles Sterling, but when a misunderstanding between them causes too much mayhem, Jane and Charles break their engagement and Jane is whisked off to her American Winthrop family - aunt, uncle, and cousins, in Manhattan for an undetermined time. There she meets the illustrious Henry Warrington, heir to his father’s shipping dynasty.

The Winthrops take Jane and several of their friends and go to the Newport seaside for a summer of R&R, where Jane finds adventure at every turn. As the days progress, Jane is drawn to Henry Warrington and believes she may be falling in love with him. Should she forget Charles Sterling across the pond? 

The summer days are filled with adventure and high society events where Henry Warrington begins to have romantic feelings for Jane. But danger is lurking amidst the fun-filled days and Jane and Henry find themselves trying to solve the mystery of who is causing perilous problems. Jane eventually finds herself in trouble that she did not cause nor want. Will the stalker ruin her life or kill her in the end?

I highly enjoyed this Gilded Age romantic, religious, historical, and suspenseful story and I recommend it to others who like a faith-filled Gilded Age romantic adventure. Plus, I love the cover of the book! 

This book was free through Freebooksy, a book promotion service that connects readers with free and discounted books in all genres. Users sign up for a daily email that showcases free and discounted books. This review is entirely my own thoughts about the book. 

BOOK REVIEW: The Necessity of Lavender Tea: A Small-town Magical Realism Love Story

 

THE NECESSITY OF LAVENDER TEA by Jennifer Moorman

As a reader, I love books with all things magical realism. This book is a YA coming of age story set in the fictional town of Mystic Waters during the 1950s. It was a free eBook with Freebooksy, so, I gave it a try. 

The story follows Kate Muir, a teenager, who has the gift of seeing the future, a gift that she is not happy with, but must accept it. It helps for her to drink lavender tea, to control the visions. Not only does Kate have a "cursed fate," but she longs to be accepted by the "hip kids" in school. 

Kate's world changes when she encounters a boy who comes from the upper crust of society. Their relationship blossoms into something Kate longs for. I kept thinking, "Oh, Kate, you're going to get into trouble!" The author sprinkles surprises throughout the story. 

This is a sweet novel of first love, longing to belong with peers and feel "normal," and making hard choices.  The magical realism in the book was light compared to many other magical realism books I've read, but it is satisfying. 

If you visit the author's website, you can download The Necessity of Lavender Tea book club kit along with a Spotify playlist, and read sample chapters. 

I give it a 5 star rating. I received the eBook free and I am not required to give a favorable review nor was any money received for this review. All comments and opinions are my own.

The Second Sunday in May: Mother's Day 2026

 The Second Sunday in May 

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12) 

Have you ever paused to think about the season in which we celebrate Mother’s Day? It arrives in springtime—a season bursting with new life, blossoms, and vibrant color. What a fitting time to honor our mothers and mother figures - the nurturing women who have poured love into our lives.

The years seem to pass so quickly. A beloved great-grandmother of mine passed away fifty years ago. My mother has been gone thirteen years, and my daughter—just one year now. Time moves forward whether we are ready or not, carrying both joy and sorrow in its wake.

For many, Mother’s Day is not a time of gathering, but of remembering. Not everyone can celebrate the special day with their mother, daughter, grandmother, aunt, or niece. If your loved ones have passed on, perhaps this day can become a quiet space to reflect on cherished memories—holding close the moments that still live on in your heart.

Dr. Seuss has a quote that says, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." And that's good advice when we have lost our special people - smile because we had them for a while.

While researching the history of Mother’s Day, I discovered a few meaningful insights. In the years following the Civil War, women became increasingly passionate about advocating for the rights and well-being of others. It was not an easy path, but their determination left a lasting impact.

Julia Ward Howe—abolitionist, women’s rights activist, and author of The Battle Hymn of the Republic—called for a day to honor women and promote peace. For a time, her efforts led to the observance of “Mother’s Day for Peace.”

Later, Anna Jarvis sought to honor her own mother, Ann Maria Jarvis (1832–1905), by establishing a national Mother’s Day. Before the Civil War, Ann Maria Jarvis had worked tirelessly in Appalachian communities to improve health and sanitation for families. During the war, she cared for wounded soldiers on both sides—Union and Confederate—demonstrating compassion that crossed all divides. In the years that followed, she organized “Mother’s Friendship Day” to help heal communities and restore unity.

After her mother’s passing on the second Sunday in May 1905, Anna Jarvis pursued the creation of a national holiday—not centered on activism, but on honoring the love and sacrifice of mothers. She envisioned a day marked by sincerity: handwritten letters and simple white carnations.

In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed the first national Mother’s Day, to be observed on the second Sunday in May.

Sadly, it did not take long for commercialism to overshadow Anna’s original vision. Greeting cards and floral sales replaced the heartfelt simplicity she had hoped for. Still, her desire remains a gentle reminder of what truly matters—love, gratitude, and remembrance. Read Anna Jarvis’ story and the tragic end to her life with the link below. 

One of my favorite poets, Christina Rossetti, beautifully expressed the depth of a daughter’s love in her poem “Sonnets Are Full of Love,” written for her mother. It is well worth reading. I’ve provided a link below.

To all the women reading this—mothers, grandmothers, daughters, and those who nurture others with a loving heart—I wish you a Mother’s Day filled with peace, reflection, and love.

References:

https://womenshistory.si.edu/blog/history-mothers-day-global-peace-greeting-cards https://allpoetry.com/Sonnets-Are-Full-Of-Love

BOOK REVIEW: THE WAY OF THE WILDFLOWER by Ruth Chou Simons

 Oh. My. Goodness When I read about this book, I had to buy it and I did.  "The Way of the Wildflower: Gospel Meditations to Unburden Your Anxious Soul" is a hardbound book that's gorgeous and filled with Ruth's artwork. And her daily devotionals are so well written that you will think she's writing it directly to you. Her author's language speaks to  the heart of people who need spiritually fed and blended with the information about certain nature's wildflowers that completes your daily reading with beautiful visuals.

I loved every page and will always cherish my hardback copy to reread at later times. I just wish it was longer because there are only 30 days of reading, LOL I didn't want the devos to end!

I highly recommend it...you won't regret buying the book. It measures 9" x 7.5". 

Here are a couple photos inside the book....they're blurry so you can't read the words, just gives you an idea of the page layouts with gorgeous paintings of wildflowers, and what's inside. 

Happy reading!